Discussing finances as a couple can be both practical and emotionally charged. Here are some strategies that highlight the benefits of couples therapy in navigating the complex landscape of financial communication. Be transparent, honesty is crucial. A skilled therapist creates a safe space for open dialogue and honest discourse. Partners may apply communication skills adapted from couples therapy to share details about debts, savings, income, expenses, and dreams for the future. Transparency builds trust and helps you make informed decisions. Therapists guide couples in discussing short-term and long-term financial goals. Whether it’s saving for a vacation, planning for your children’s education, retirement, or paying off debt, aligning your goals fosters a shared financial vision and builds intimacy. Talking about money taps into emotionally charged interpersonal dynamics including self-worth, security, independence and attachment. Consider how money is associated with issues of loss, family history, risk tolerance, responsibility, expectation and stability. Choose the right time to talk about money. Therapists emphasize timing and structure. Avoid discussing finances when you’re tired, rushed, or distracted. Don’t wait until tax season to talk about money. Scheduled financial check-ins allow focused discussions, minimizing emotional triggers. Dr. John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman of the Gottman Institute recommend couples schedule a “state of the union” meeting one time per week to reflect on their relationship. It serves as an intentional space to share both positive and negative aspects of their partnership and work on conflict resolution. It is also an opportunity to discuss finances regularly. Reflecting on your family budget, saving and investing, deferred maintenance, unanticipated expenses or windfalls and financial planning. It is recommended that both partners have equal access to financial information and understand account balances, investments, debts and financial goals. Couples with equal access to financial information position themselves to take care of themselves and each other. Therapists are not financial advisers. While the couple therapy process promotes effective couple communication it is not a substitute for professional financial planning. A fiduciary financial advisor is a professional who is legally and ethically bound to act in the best interest of their clients. Professional financial guidance reduces conflicts and enhances financial well-being. There’s no one-size-fits-all solution. In couples therapy, individual beliefs about money are respected, and open communication fosters mutual respect. Investing in your relationship’s financial health is an investment in your future together. Prioritizing couples therapy is an opportunity to grow in your relationship with your significant other.
